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Grunge causes a resurgence of heavy metal in Tennessee |
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| (DCExaminer) |
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Washington D.C.'s Toys For Cops program a big success |
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Photoshop this blue light special |
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Atheist soldier sues US military over Christian bias. God help hi... er, uh. Good luck |
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Study shows an increase in wrecks at red-light camera sites, which, in the eyes of the city, somehow proves the cameras are working |
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People don't want to go to Atlanta because there's nothing to do there |
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European Neanderthals had ginger hair and freckles, shorter work weeks than western counterparts |
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Did you cedar man who was arrested after he "began to make motions against a tree" simulating a sex act? Wonders why the cops won't leaf him alone, but he was just aspen for trouble |
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| (CBN) |
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Candy canes may be healthy for you, according to study performed by Willy Wonka State University |
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Sarah Palin's second grandchild has arrived: Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston. Who the hell names their kid Johnston? |
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When fired from your job do you 1) apply for unemployment, 2) sue for wrongful termination, or 3) kill the boss's dog with a shotgun |
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Couples in bedrooms across America debate whether they should let the economy decide if they have children or not. "We would like to repopulate the world with smart people." |
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NYC tourists spent $30 billion in 2008, mostly on gum removal from shoes, bedbug treatments and dry cleaning to remove the smell of urine |
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Thai policemen wear smiley face masks to "lift spirits of motorists" (pic) |
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Kim Jong-Il attends concert. Among the songs he enjoyed: "All Hail the Not-Dead Dear Leader," "A Foot in the Grave Moves Socialism Forward," and "We Still Love You; Don't Kill Us" |
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Advice for all you aspiring bank robbers out there: When using a note to announce the stick-up, the back of your pay stub is not, repeat NOT, a suitable piece of paper |
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The bikini teacher is back. And she will fight you. Oh yes. She will fight you |
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Protip: When designing a website for a state agency, make sure the picture of the skyline is one from that state |
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If you live in Chicago, the 8.50 a pack smokes that you can't smoke in bars may soon cost you 10 bucks. Oh yeah, and you might not be able to smoke in your own home anymore either |
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Vancouver worried about snow for the 2010 Winter Olympics. Wait, what? |
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| (Some Guy) |
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Oregon Department of Transportation is considering using satellite technology and mandatory GPS transponders in vehicles to tax people according to how much they drive, find and kill Sarah Connor |
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| (Some Guy-atollah) |
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Photoshop this sand dune sitting dude |
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Another sign the economy is in the tank, people are abandoning ponies. You still can't have one. Not yours |
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Man arrested for trying to kill his girlfriend with a knife and fork. Reportedly didn't use a spoon because he hates Alanis Morissette songs |
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Eight snowmobilers lost after avalanche in Canada, say police, who apparently don't realize they're probably just under all that snow somewhere |
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| (SherboMan) |
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Irish man wins world sheep shagging contest. Shags 731 sheep in 8 hours, that's 0.65 sheep a minute and a whole lot of lube |
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Size 14 women found to be happier about life than women who don't generate their own gravitational fields |
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Another sign of the bad economy: man chooses jail rather than paying a buck and a half for a soda. Or maybe he was just drunk |
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Fark's 2008 Headline of the Year contest, Round 4: October through December (details in thread) |
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Scientists discover that visiting family "warps your brain." Their water team is also on the verge of confirming that water is, in fact, wet |
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Man convicted of having sex on Dubai beach bemoans the massive legal bill, calling it "An extremely expensive situation". Sounds like someone's got a little sand in their vagina |
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Dr. Noshiat Sherlock of the Duh Institute says studies show gay teens less likely to use drugs or kill themselves if their parents don't freak the fark out when the teens "come out" to them |
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Local 10 does a recap of Fark headlines for the past year, without mentioning Fark |
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D.C. to ban smelly vagrants from sleeping in public libraries. And someone is actually opposed to that |
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Another sign of a bad economy: fewer tourists vacationing at the Sen. Craig bathroom in the Minneapolis airport |
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Controversial new "green" Bible hits the shelf. Noah's flood was a product of global warming and Jesus recycled all that fish and loaves of bread |
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...and in other news, apparently "Iceland is known as the hot dog capital of the world" |
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More and more people are taking "polar bear plunges" into frigid water to help support the Special Olympics. In other news, more and more people are training for the Special Olympics by plunging into frigid water |
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Teacher fired for violating school dress code by wearing sneakers to class. Although he's the PE teacher |
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What happens when two co-workers from a car dealership are boozing in a parked car owned by the dealership and one of them overdoses? This is America, so obviously the family of the dead guy sues the dealership |
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Whistleblower lady who exposed contractor fraud and has waited six years for repairs found dead in her mold-infested, still-unrepaired home |
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Fark's 2008 Headline of the Year contest, Round 3: July through September (details in thread) |
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Rules of the Recession, Part I: Your penny-pinching uncle and cheap first date are about to seem like much cooler people |
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| (Some Manly Man) |
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"Any daily count of stories about things we now must fear, tallies in dozens. Is this the sign of a great people, this grovelling in what is petty, low, fearsome, or unequal?" |
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Allen Ginsberg once called Henry Kissinger and suggested that to promote world peace they should appear on TV together...in the nude. Once again the superiority of recreational drugs from the 60s is demonstrated |
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| (Some Guy) |
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Not news, it's bad when the police break down your door during a training raid. News, it's really bad when it's the wrong house. Fark, It wasn't the police, it was the fire department |
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| (ProJo.com) |
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15 and 19 year old Rhode Islanders now parents for the third time after giving birth to ugly ass giraffe early last week. (with pic and video) |
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In these tough economic times, more corporate executives are reaching out employees to listen to their concerns. Just kidding, they're taking evasive-driving classes so they can avoid employees and make quick getaways |
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In hard financial times, some Americans are seeking out second or third jobs. Some are filing for unemployment. Others are cutting back expenses. And some...well, some are just printing their own money |
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Forget global warming -- the Earth is spinning slower. Global Slowing is also, undoubtedly, caused by humans. Either too many of us or we are getting to fat |
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Ugly-ass titi monkeys born at Bronx Zoo. Aw, who am I kidding? It's the cutest little titi you'll see today |
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Photoshop these hat-wearing heads of state |
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Two Liberians accused of trying to scam restaurateur, confuse him with Dewey decimal system |
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They may be small, round and frequently smelly, but telling your class of 11-year olds that they're a "pack of arseholes" tends to be frowned upon |
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What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. In contrast, what happens in New York City gets your daughters strip-searched and you banned from ever becoming a foster mother |
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Hide and Seek is a much more interesting game when the loser risks being eaten by a polar bear |
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Oldest American man dies, eliciting sorrow for many, yet a roster spot on the Toronto Maple Leafs  |
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One out of five people don't have anyone to kiss on New Year's Eve, and more people kiss their pets than their friends that night |
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High wind knocks out power to 413,000 homes and businesses in the state of Michigan. It still wasn't as devastating as losing to Appalachian State and Toledo though |
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Jets pound Hamas, earn spot in playoffs |
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It really doesn't matter how annoying you find the capitalist pigs at your local golf course, you won't be able to blow them up with an ECG machine |
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Teens who make pledges of abstinence still having premarital sex and not using protection. New pledges are to be reminded that crossing your fingers does not invalidate your vow of premarital celibacy |
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You are unable to get through to vote for reality show "Strictly Come Dancing" so you a) forget about it and get ice cream, b) just wait and call later or c) call 911 to complain |
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"May I see your skateboarder identification card please?" |
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This new year, people are vowing to eat more yak, learn to belch the alphabet, get a comma problem under control, and learn the name of flowers. Suddenly your resolution to eat less and work out more seems boring |
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No matter how badly you're craving a smoke, always - ALWAYS - turn your oxygen bottle off first |
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Ten members of the Chase and Tackle Squad capture bank robber in Sydney |
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