Reviews

Last Night's Television: Jamie's Family Christmas, Channel 4
The Hairy Bikers' Twelve Days of Christmas, BBC2

Depressingly, the Hairy Bikers turned up under the "Top Tier – Highly Valued" heading in the BBC Knowledge's leaked talent list, which suggests that in the new year we'll probably have them presenting everything from daytime chat shows to a Horizon special on string theory. For the moment, though, you can still appreciate them in their proper setting... the novelty cookery programme. "Ooohh!... strike a light!" said Si (or possibly Dave), "It's that time of year again... it's the Hairy Bikers Christmas special!" They were dressed in top hats and frock coats, carrying lanterns, and advancing down a Dickensian cobbled street in a way that made the spirit sag like an undercooked souffl�. "Fun, food and frolics await!" promised Dave (or possibly Si), making it sink still further. Just remember, you can switch over at black moments like this, but I'm professionally obliged to stick it out to the end, through 58 teeth-grinding minutes of ersatz joviality.

Inside Reviews

Last Night's Television - The Last American Freak Show, More4; Glee, E4

Wednesday, 16 December 2009

A school that rocks

Last Night's Television - Life, BBC1; Out Of My Depth, ITV1

Tuesday, 15 December 2009

Get her out of there

The Weekend’s Television: How Do You Solve A Problem Like Lolita? Sun, BBC4
Sam Taylor-Wood's Nowhere Boy, Sat, E4

Monday, 14 December 2009

Magnificent obsession

James Corrigan: Behind the scenes with Rafa the remote-control freak

Monday, 14 December 2009

View From The Sofa: Champions League, Sky Sports

The X Factor ITV 1
Hop, Skip and Jump: The Story of Children's Play BBC 4

Sunday, 13 December 2009

This year's 'Battle of the Blands' is still the stuff of dreams, but it's the judges who'll steal the show

The Choice, Radio 4 (Rated 4/ 5 )

Sunday, 13 December 2009

Never say 'mother' to a grumpy abortionist

Sport on TV: Heart sinks as soppy Robson goes green around the gills

Sunday, 13 December 2009

He's letting down the Geordie nation. At the start of Robson Green's Wild Swimming Adventure (ITV1, Tuesday) he decided to take a dip in the Tyne and had to be fished out almost immediately. "My body shut down after 200 yards," he admitted before asking his rescuers when was the last time someone had gone in the river. "Friday night" was the answer, "and they were off their heads." Obviously Green should have had a few Newcastle Brown Ales before he jumped in the drink.

Last Night's TV: Kidnapped by the Kids, Misfits

Friday, 11 December 2009

Parent trap wasn't just child's play

Last Night's Television: Hot planet, BBC1
Spooks, BBC1
Gossip Girl, ITV2

Thursday, 10 December 2009

Of all the harbingers of climate-change doom, the sunfish must surely have the friendliest face. A round-eyed, massive grey disc of a fish, it swims happily around while waggling its fin above the water in such a way that it looks like it's waving. Cute! Except that where once you had to travel to the balmy waters of the Caribbean to see these little fellows, now you can spot them off the coast of Cornwall. Which, while possibly quite good news for the Cornish tourist board, is devastatingly bad news for our planet.