Twitter Tales: Our Users, Their Stories

When Merlin Mann created his best-known Twitter account (@hotdogsladies) in early 2007, he immediately fell in love with one notorious aspect of the online service: what he calls “the happy constraint of 140 characters.” “As someone who talks about creative work all day, you learn to love constraints,” says Merlin, who's often described as "a reluctant productivity guru," infamous for his unconventional presentations on personal productivity and knowledge work.

“My friends and I try to rise to the challenge of seeing how far we can go with just those 140 characters. It ended up that it was a perfect medium for a certain kind of humor and observation,” he adds.

“It’s just the right amount of space to make a small joke, with a twist.”

As it turns out, almost 100,000 followers (and counting) think @hotdogsladies rises to the challenge in his short, clever messages. He tweets about funny things he sees on the street, posts snarky pop culture commentary, and makes hilarious and often very nerdy jokes.

“I want to tell a little story,” Merlin says of each Tweet. “I want to create a little world in there where you have to figure out what the missing piece is, and where it’s not obvious what I’m saying – like a puzzle you have to figure out.”

Merlin is straightforward about the way he uses Twitter: not as a social media platform. “I use it as a self-publishing platform. Much the same way I'd use a blog,” he explains. “For a long time, I kept a running file with jokes and ideas that I might want to someday transform into a joke for Twitter.” He publishes these short quips every day or so, and doesn’t worry much about whether his fans get it or not. “Half the people who follow me are there because they get the jokes; I suspect the the other half probably aren't even sure WHY they're there,” laughs Merlin. “Truthfully, I don’t craft stuff to be retweeted. Not a fan.”

In fact, Merlin is probably the only person on Twitter to say that, once in a while, he feels like he has too many followers. “I’ll realize I dislike that pressure of facing a big, half-interested audience. So, yeah, I'll try to get the fence-sitters to dump me,” he says with a laugh. “I’ll post something that will totally piss people off, like ‘Nice hat, Justin Bieber—do they make it for men?’ and then, in brackets, show my current number of followers. Just so everyone could track how many people I could persuade to split.”

Ironically, it’s precisely this attitude that seems to make Merlin so popular. He understands what many others seek on Twitter, and he delivers it daily. “No one really cares about my life, or your life; what they care about is being amused. Twitter is a place to have fun,” he says.

Merlin spends much of his professional life helping people find the time and attention to do their best work (check out his upcoming book Inbox Zero). “With email,” he explains, “I have no control over what people put in my inbox and no control over what my expectations are about it. But the great thing about Twitter is that you don’t have to repeatedly see anything you don’t want to see; I have 100% control over what lands in my Twitter stream.” That observation has led Merlin to develop some pretty insightful tips on how best to use Twitter. Among them is: “If they aren’t amusing you, unfollow.” Certainly, Merlin offers that exact advice to all of his own followers. Even still, the numbers just keep climbing.

His best tweets:

• “If the LOST guys redid The Bible, there'd be 3 Marys, a subplot about Job's imaginary spaceship, and zero resolution on who Jesus's Dad is.”
• “James Carville always looks like he's struggling to remember whether he just ate a ferret.”
• "Joining a Facebook group about creative productivity is like buying a chair about jogging."
• “Chili's is America's lonely ex-girlfriend. You arrive starved and confused; you leave sad and gravely clear on why things never worked out.”
• “Innovation is a lot like risotto. The few who make it well just go make it; the many who can't yammer about it until you want to stab them.”
• “Look: it's not journalism unless it's printed on costly paper you throw out one hour after some guy literally drives it to your door. Daily.”

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