K. Thor JensenVerified account

@kthorjensen

The Only Real Dad On Twitter™ Buy Cloud Stories here:

Friday Harbor
shortandhappy.com
Joined March 2009
2,738 Photos and videos Photos and videos

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  1. Pinned Tweet
    11 Mar 2017

    My new book CLOUD STORIES is now at Amazon for you to read if 140 characters just isn't enough to slake your thirst

    16 replies 13 retweets 37 likes
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  2. 4 hours ago

    The McRib Is Back... But The Ravages Of Death Have Changed It Beyond Mortal Recognition

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    McDonald's Chopped Beefsteak Sandwich and Onion Nuggets were popular items in parallel universe 1977b during the time of President Nelson Rockefeller before the portal collapsed on itself
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    2 replies 1 retweet 10 likes
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  3. 4 hours ago

    Anybody complicit in the fawning post-career hagiography of preening Randian poor-murderer Paul Ryan should have their moronic words tattooed on their face to ensure their eternal shame.

    1 reply 8 retweets 57 likes
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  4. Retweeted
    12 hours ago

    17TH CENTURY YOUTH: ahhh I love looking at a painting where a lady has her boob out. i feel great and will live forever ARTIST: but look closer…in the corner… YOUTH: wait is that…A SKULL? OH SHIT! I JUST REMEMBERED I’LL DIE ONE DAY! ARTIST: Ahahahaha owned

    27 replies 5,132 retweets 17,377 likes
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  5. 5 hours ago

    When the horny level, racism level and cringe level are all maxed out in the character creator

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    Finally! You asked, and I delivered! Ever since I announced the series, the next Beautiful Anti-SJW has been a long time coming! The HIGHLY-REQUESTED ! 😊 Order high-quality prints here:
    17 replies 11 retweets 80 likes
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  6. Retweeted
    24 hours ago

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    405 replies 35,079 retweets 163,727 likes
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  7. Retweeted
    Apr 11

    The most romantic thing I ever saw was the My Strange Addiction episode where the woman was addicted to coffee enemas so her husband tried it and also got addicted to coffee enemas

    18 replies 82 retweets 840 likes
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  8. 22 hours ago

    Who’s the horniest person you know (the “I” in the first answer refers to you, the person answering the question)

    4 replies
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  9. Retweeted
    Apr 10

    The Daily Caller's pivot to video is something to behold

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    6 replies 8 retweets 47 likes
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  10. Apr 11

    Holy shit these fuckin’ birds!!!!

    3 replies 7 likes
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  11. Apr 11

    I’m in Hawaii

    3 replies 6 likes
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  12. Retweeted
    9 Nov 2012

    *crests a hill* hey dudes

    51 replies 3,497 retweets 6,883 likes
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  13. Retweeted
    Apr 8

    please help

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    115 replies 1,088 retweets 11,998 likes
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  14. Apr 10

    This kid ❤️🌍

    6 likes
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  15. Retweeted
    Apr 9

    WHY THE FUCK IS THERE SKITTLES MILK

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    24 replies 43 retweets 124 likes
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  16. Apr 10

    Ben’s equally minuscule uncle once got lost in a uterus for three days and died of dehydration

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    Actually, you can use your uterus to kill people legally in the United States. You can’t do that with guns.
    5 retweets 64 likes
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  17. Apr 10

    if you like the graps in any way 's timeline right now is beautiful as Rachel is flying home on Delta with Kurt Angle

    1 reply 1 retweet 6 likes
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  18. Retweeted
    7 May 2015

    Mark E. Mark

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    3 replies 6 retweets 29 likes
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  19. Retweeted
    Apr 9

    Tired: using muscle cars to pick up women Wired: using muscle women to pick up cars

    8 replies 504 retweets 2,402 likes
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  20. Apr 9

    Rose drew this week's T-shirt design

    3 likes
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  21. Retweeted
    Apr 9

    i dont have a racist bone in body. i had it removed so i could suck my own dick

    2 replies 28 retweets 220 likes
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